An Unsung Hero, Part I

Photo: Lieutenant Governor of Ontario David Onley presents Robert Pio Hajjar with an Unsung Hero Award during a ceremony at Variety Village, Scarborough, Ontario on December 3, 2009. It was the International Day of People with Disabilities, as well as Robert's 32nd birthday!

Keeping Your Marriage Strong

We're More Alike Than Different, Part II

Big Change Ahead

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• Capitalizing on timing and momentum. By coordinating local and regional action with national initiatives, timing action to coincide with groundswells of public sentiment or moments of crisis, grantmakers are translating a vision for change into on-the-ground progress.
  Being a strong voice for change. By creating a platform for affected communities to engage in the policy dialogue, and sharing information with the media, policymakers and others, grantmakers are creating energy to drive change.
  Leveraging key resources. By supporting research, combining their knowledge and experience, and using their dollars to open the door to national and government funding sources, local grantmakers are creating the building blocks for change.
  Building true partnerships. By bringing organizations and individuals together in new collaborations, grantmakers are strengthening the agents of change.

Put into action in recent years, those strategies have made a real difference in the lives of our neighbors in the Washington area. For instance, as The Community Foundation’s September 11 Survivors’ Fund accumulated $25 million from more than 12,000 donors, foundation leaders asked: what will it truly take to help people heal? The Fund locked arms with Northern Virginia Family Service to pursue a case management approach. The two organizations’ intensive, seven-year partnership resulted in a model system of care—case management combined with financial support—which proved better at addressing complex long-term needs than “quick distribution” approaches.

Despite the recession, local funders are continuing such transformational grantmaking. Building on its continuing commitment to direct services, The Community Foundation’s Neighbors in Need Montgomery Fund recently announced support for a new systemic approach to delivering emergency services in isolated neighborhoods in Montgomery County to ensure services are reaching those who most need them. A partnership between IMPACT Silver Spring and the Montgomery County Department of Health and Human Services, the Neighbors Campaign hopes to leverage other community resources to sustain long-term recovery for those in crisis; create a new, sustainable network of mutual support in isolated neighborhoods and increase the number of people embarking or staying on a path toward secure employment and greater economic empowerment. Later this month, The Community Foundation will announce a new round of Neighbors in Need grants aimed at strengthening the safety-net infrastructure and system through which safety-net services are provided.

Grantmakers are continuing to provide dollars to feed the hungry and provide medical care for the poor, and in countless other ways to care for those in need. But they’re also taking aim at the broader causes of such problems, using all the tools available to them. The saying goes that if you give a hungry person a fish they’ll eat for a day, but if you teach them to fish, they’ll eat for a lifetime. What grantmakers are beginning to do is more akin to restocking the river with sustainable species of fish! Such strategic grantmaking is where foundations are headed, indeed, where they absolutely must go. The recession won’t prevent that. In fact, it makes the transition all the more imperative.

Giving It Some Thought

Photo credit: ➨ Redvers

We're More Alike Than Different, Part I

David is 59 years old and very proud of it. He is my big brother and he has Down syndrome. Born at a time when there were more questions than answers, my parents were told that he would never walk or talk or be very much of anything. The well-meaning doctors advised my parents to put David away and forget about him. After all, they were young and could have more children.

Growing up in my family, I heard this 'story' many times but didn't really feel the impact of it until last August, 2007. I was having dinner with my son, Cameron, and my daughter Adrienne. Cameron was 18 and Adrienne was 21. I was suddenly struck by what seemed to me to be a remarkable coincidence. I was exactly the age my mother was when she died in 1984 and Adrienne was the same age my mother was when she gave birth to my brother, David. In that moment, as I looked at my daughter so full of fun, freedom and excitement about her fashion course, I was filled with tremendous tenderness for my mum. For the very first time, I saw her as a young 'girl' alone in London with her husband and was filled with a new understanding of that story. How lost and bewildered they must have felt as they brought their newborn son home, without any words of congratulations, hope or joy.

Mum became a determined pioneer in the course she set out for David. Dad told me that he would leave for work in the morning and mum would be massaging David, and when he came home at night, she had clearly spent the day focused on David's care. He would walk and he would talk, and he did.

I have learned to beware of David saying, "It's not far, just around the corner." That usually means we will turn the right corner eventually!

Growing up with David was not always easy. When we were young, I fought many a fight for him when kids made fun of him. I often pulled faces at adults who openly stared at him, and if that didn't work, I would hiss at the offending adult, "Don't you know it's rude to stare?"

As a teenager, I wanted to be just like other teens. I experimented with make-up and outfits I hoped would look 'cool'. But my self-image took a beating when I was with David. No matter how much work I put into my appearance, David was the only one 'they' saw. I used to think I could be naked, and as long as David was beside me, no one would even notice. My high school was far enough away from home that I could lead a life that was quite independent. At school I was Julie, not David's sister. I had my own identity. I glossed over questions like, "Is your brother cute?" I was also able to relax the constant and exhausting vigilance I had adopted to 'protect' David. When we were home, it was a different story. We never fought, we laughed often and were just a regular brother and sister.

So I often felt very guilty for my negative feelings.