Cliff-hanger in Paradise

[David Collin]

All the Hawaiian islands seem to have a couple of similar features. In the middle there is a volcano or two, the fount from which the island was born. Then there is one road that circumnavigates the island right at it's edge with spectacular views of the ocean from 360 degrees. So it's my custom when visiting a new island to jump in the rental car and take a drive around its circumference. Muui fits that pattern.

Friday my wife and I headed north from Kaanapali where we're staying in one of the many condos for rent there. We heard there was a surfing competition on the north end of the island. Sure enough, from the cliffs overlooking Honolua Bay we got to watch some pretty good waves and surfers.



Continuing around the north tip of Maui clockwise we began to encounter narrower and narrower sections of road. Some maps of Maui have a warning on them about this road: "Caution: The road along the north side of Maui is for the most part a narrow, winding one-lane road. Drive at your own risk."


Some maps don't...like the one Hawaiian Airline gave us on the flight over. Literally, when two vehicles meet each other for about 10 miles of Highway 30 on the northeast side of the island, one has to squeeze into the nearest pocket in the cliff-face or the baracade-less shoulder to let the other by. It's a quick negotiation. We stopped half a dozen times to let cars, pickups, and vans inch by.

I was driving and trying to take it with a "Whee! Aren't we havin' fun!" attitude. My wife was leaning over from the passenger side practically in my lap trying to peer around the next hairpin turn carved in solid rock. My mood changed when we came bumper to bumper on a totally blind curve with a school bus! It was, "WTF**k!! This is nuts!" You can't intimidate a school bus into backing down. So I threw the car into revers and backed uphill into a pocket a few car-lengths back cursing myself all the while for declining the expensive supplemental insurance at the rental counter. "They're just trying to scare me into buying something I d0n't need."

Eventually, with me sucking in my stomach in as if that would make my car thinner and the driver of the bus rolling a few rocks down the ravine on her side of the road, we passed. I watched the big rear-view mirror of the bus pass within an inch or two of my nose.

We made it, but I was a zombie from two hours of concentrating on driving like I had a truckload of nitroglycerine.

T-hirt shops around here sell shirts that say, "I Survived the Road to Hana." That's Monday's excursion. Keep me in your prayers, please!